Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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