Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
