I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
