I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
