The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
