Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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