I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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