How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
