i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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