spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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