soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
