girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
