we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Bring me that man meat
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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