Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
