Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just googled if crying burns calories
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
