I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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