I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
