WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
