you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Panties = found
Randomize
