I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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