I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
