Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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