It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
