I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
