I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize