2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
