One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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