chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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