i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
