Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
