I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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