if you like me you must not know who I am
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize