Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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