D3 body, D1 cock
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
