return my video game
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
