He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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