Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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