The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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