grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
