girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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