WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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