i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
