omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
