There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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