i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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