Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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