I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
