I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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