I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
