a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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