Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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