I didn't shave. On purpose
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
FUCK WHALES
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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