Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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