Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
