I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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