Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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