There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
