girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
