whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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