Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
not ubering you a puppy
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
