Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
