apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
