She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
