I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
