that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So much rum. So many feels.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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