I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
