ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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