Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
